CTOS Still More Secure And Stable Than Windows 10

Following the somewhat dubious success of Blume Corporation’s CTOS in the city of Chicago and its billion dollar rollout in San Francisco, private citizens have begun flocking to the new cloud-based operating system in droves. Smart devices, gadgets, and laptops with Blume’s unified operating architecture can barely remain on store shelves despite a series of high-profile Read more about CTOS Still More Secure And Stable Than Windows 10[…]

Earth’s Diverse Populace Completely Unsurprised As White People Leave To Fight Class War In Outer Space

Last week some 1300 starships left from a hastily converted private airfield in Portland, ME carrying a population of roughly 1.3 billion of the whitest people to have ever lived on the face of the Earth. No other ethnological demographic was included upon the massive arks of humanity making their fledgling voyage to the stars Read more about Earth’s Diverse Populace Completely Unsurprised As White People Leave To Fight Class War In Outer Space[…]

Hello Games’ Twitter Account Achieves Sentience. Already More Self Aware Than Sean Murray.

On Friday the developer of the critically embattled No Man’s Sky, Hello Games, seemingly tweeted an admission that their undercooked space exploration downloadable was, in fact, a horrible miscalculation by Sean Murray and his team. This tweet was immediately met with skepticism from the community as it’s well known that the studio’s default damage control Read more about Hello Games’ Twitter Account Achieves Sentience. Already More Self Aware Than Sean Murray.[…]

Rumor: Incantation To Birth Nintendo NX From The Black Serpent’s Womb Complete

At a shareholder’s meeting held ahead of rumors that Nintendo would be revealing the long awaited Nintendo NX, Tatsumi Kimishima, president of Nintendo of Japan, announced that he had just completed the ritualistic incantation that would ultimately birth the NX from the black serpent’s womb where it has sat dormant these last eighteen months, awaiting the Read more about Rumor: Incantation To Birth Nintendo NX From The Black Serpent’s Womb Complete[…]

Talented Developer Swears Game Will Complete You

Recently announced at SGC, Everything Craft: Fate’s Duty, developed by fledgling game studio Mendaces East, has drawn a great deal of attention from gamers and games media alike. Not so much for its slick visuals or competent and engaging gameplay, as no media has yet been released and no one has had a chance to Read more about Talented Developer Swears Game Will Complete You[…]

Extremely Conspicuous Augmented Man Terrorizes Local Community

In the wake of the recent, worldwide terrorist attacks that have further complicated a national dialogue regarding augmented rights, the city of Prague has experienced a rash of conspicuous assaults and burglaries all seemingly attributed to a single unknown assailant positively identified as a heavily augmented male in a black trenchcoat. Nothing to see here. Read more about Extremely Conspicuous Augmented Man Terrorizes Local Community[…]

Koei Tecmo To Stop All Western Publishing Because Games Are Too “Rad-Ass”

Following its announcement that Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 will not be coming to the west because of hyper-sensitive attitudes in games journalism in regards to silly and juvenile sexual content, Koei Tecmo followed up over the weekend with a declaration that they would cease western publishing altogether due to the fact that their games Read more about Koei Tecmo To Stop All Western Publishing Because Games Are Too “Rad-Ass”[…]

Todd Howard: “Thank God We Don’t Have To Explain Things Anymore”

I’ve been having a blast playing Fallout 4 over the last few weeks but something about its design had been clawing at my mind since day 1. Bethesda has certainly never developed the most accessible games on the market but I’ve never had a problem coming to grips with all of the layers and intricacies Read more about Todd Howard: “Thank God We Don’t Have To Explain Things Anymore”[…]

Arkham Knight Is Somewhat Fixed But WB’s Handling Is Still Inexcusable

Arkham Knight is back on sale for PC. The one of you who reads this blog might remember my storied history with this particular edition of the caped crusader’s video game saga. The latest patch is supposed to finally make the game playable on moderate gaming systems and allow Warner Brothers to sell you the Read more about Arkham Knight Is Somewhat Fixed But WB’s Handling Is Still Inexcusable[…]

Let’s Watch These Sharks Eat Each Other Alive

Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemont is super pissed that mega-corporation and one time owner of both Universal Studios and Activision seems to be making a bid to acquire his company. In an internal email leaked to Games industry.biz following Vivendi’s successful bid to purchase 6.6 percent of Ubisoft’s stock, bringing their shares to roughly 10 percent Read more about Let’s Watch These Sharks Eat Each Other Alive[…]